VISIT WITH JAY

HI EVERYONE I WENT AND VISITED MY SON JAY, TODAY HE'S THE ONE THAT IS IN PRISON, IT WENT GOOD HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SEE FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS BECAUSE HE GOT IN TROUBLE, AND HE GOT HIS VISITING RIGHTS TOOK AWAY FOR A WHILE. MARGART THEIR STEP-MOTHER TOOK ME UP. AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE I FAILED AS A MOTHER, BUT I KNOW I DID MY BEST AS I COULD. I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYONE, AND YOU HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS. I HAVE BEEN FEELING DOWN A LITTLE BUT THIS CHRISTMAS WAS A VERY GOOD THAN K'S TO MY FRIEND KEITH. I LOVE YOU ALL. WRITE BACK AND TELL ME HOW YOU GUY'S ARE.
LOVE IRIS

HAPPY HOILDAYS 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS, TO EVERYONE I'M DOING FIND, CARRIE HAD ANOTHER BABY BORN ON THE 20TH OF NOVEMBER, NAMED KLARENCE EDWARD PRINCE, THEIR THIRD SON. KARL SEEMS SO THRILLED. AND THE KALEB AND VON ARE EXCITED. THEY BLESSED HIM ON THE 6 OF DECEMBER, AND AFTERWARDS I WENT TO THEIR HOUSE AND HAD COOKIES AND MILK. KALEB EVEN SPELLED EDDIE NAME FOR US. HE IS GROWING SO MUCH HE IS WEARING GLASSES NOW SINCE HE STARTED BACK TO SCHOOL. I JUST WANT WANTED TO WISH YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
LOVE IRIS

TOMORROW IS OCTOBER

WOW TOMORROW IS OCTOBER, I MADE IT THOUGH SEPTEMBER, I STILL HAVE A PANIC ATTACKS BUT NOT AS OFTEN WITH MEDICINE THE DOCTOR GAVE ME IT IS HELPING, BUT I STILL HAVING HEADACHES A LOT I'M GOING TO A SURGEON, THAT WORKS ON YOUR MOUTH AND HE IS GOING TO GRIND DOWN THE BONES IN MY MOUTH SO MY DENTURES WON'T HURT ANYMORE. THEY WERE THINKING ABOUT PUT POST IN BUT THEY COST OVER 3,000 DOLLARS AND VOC. REB. WON'T HELP ME PAY FOR THEM SO THEY SAID THEY WOULD PAY FOR THE GRIND OF THE BONE DOWN. I DON'T KNOW WHICH DAY YET I GO TALK TO MY COUNSEL TOMORROW AND THEN GO FROM THERE. I KNOW IT WILL BE ON A FRIDAY SO IT WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW LATER. I HOPE SOME OF YOU ARE STILL LOOKING AT THIS BLOG, CAUSE I TRY TO KEEP IT UP. SOON IT WILL BE MY BIRTHDAY, ON THE 12, WITH OUT MERRILL AGAIN. BUT I WILL BE FIND BECAUSE OF MY FRIEND. HE HAS SOMETHING PLAN AND WE WILL CELABRATE MY GRANDSON KALEB'S BIRTHDAY ON THE 13TH WITH HIM TOO. THEN HE HAS A GRANDDAUGHTER THAT HAS A BIRTHDAY ON THE 19TH SO I MAKING HER A BABY BASINET FOR THAT.
SO I KNOW I WILL BE OK, WITH GOD HELP AND THE BLESSING THAT KARL, GAVE ME IN AUGUST IT HAS HELP AND TALKING WITH HIM AND DIANE, WITH CARRIE, KARL'S, WIFE I GOT THINGS OFF MY SHOULDER AND KARL, TOLD ME TO REMEMBER THE ATTONEMENT THAT JESUS, PAYED FOR ARE SINS AND THAT WHAT EVER HAPPEN IN THE PASS HE, HAS FORGIVIN ME, AND THAT HE WANTS ME TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE AND FIND HAPPINESS AND THAT MERRILL, IS OK AND TO LET GO SO HE DO HIS WORK UP THERE. BUT I, FIND IT HARD TOP FORGIVE YOURSELF. I CAN FORGIVE OTHERS OF THEIR FAULT BUT HOW DO I FOR GIVE ME, WORK ON IT DAY BY DAY, BUT MAYBE NOW THAT I TALK TO KARL, AND CARRIE, WITH DIANE, MY THEPISTS I CAN MOVE ON. KARL, SAID HE LOVES ME AND IS GLAD I'M HIS MOTHER.
I'M THANKFUL TO GOD, FOR MY CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN I LOVE THEM SO. I HOPE SOME OF YOU WILL READ IS AND ANSWER ME BACK.
LOVE YOU IRIS

MADE IT THOUGH LABOR DAY

HI EVERYONE, MADE IT THOUGH LABOR DAY, WITH HELP OF MY FRIEND. HO HOW I HATE HOLIDAYS, WITH OUT MERRILL. BUT I'M GETTING USE TO THEM EVEN , I'M GETTING BY THEM, SOMETIMES I , HAVE TO TALK TO MY THEPISTS AND IT HELPS.
KARL GAVE ME A GOOD BLESSING A COUPLE WEEKS AGO IN IT HE SAID THAT JESUS LOVES ME AND THAT I'M HIS DAUGTHER, AND HE ATTONE FOR ALL OF ARE SINS AND WE NEED TO PUT THEM IN THE PAST AND FORGIVE YOURSELFS. AND GOD IS ONLY A HAND A WAY ALL I HAVE TO REACH OUT AND HE WOULD TAKE HOLD OF IT, AND HELP ME THOUGH ALL THINGS. AND KEEP PRAYING LIKE I DO. I SEEN KARLA YESTERDAY AT BYU WE START WORK NEXT TUESDAY. I THINK WHEN I GO BACK TO WORK IT WILL HELP ME GET MY MIND OFF THINGS AND I WON'T MISS MERRIL SO MUCH, AND I WILL BE OUT OF THE CONFLICT OF MICHAEL'S AND ELISE'S PROBLEMS. I LOVE YOU ALL SO WRITE YOU LATER .
LOVE IRIS

YEAR AGO

THIS IS THE HARDEST ONE FOR ME IT BEEN A YEAR AGO SINCE MERRILL, DIED, AND I HURT SO MUCH, AT TIMES I JUST WANT TO RUNWAY. I JUST PRAY TO GOD THAT I CAN MAKE IT THOUGH THIS DAY. I'M GOING TO GRANTSVILLE, TODAY TO VISIT A FRIEND AND STAY OVER NIGHT. I JUST CAN'T BE HERE TO MANY MEMORIES. LOVE YOU ALL. LOVE ALL OF MY GRANDCHILDREN, AND I WANT THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE VERY SPECAIL TO ME.
LOVE IRIS

P.S. MISSING MERRILL, THE VAIL IS JUST FOR A TIME NOT FOR EVER I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN.

It's Been Awhile

I know it's been awhile, sorry I been kind of busy. And trying to find out how to straighten my feeling out. It's going to be a year since Merrill died on August 27Th and I been hurting, down deep inside, lonely and missing him a lot wanting him to be here to hold me to help from crying.
Have talk to my Bishop about my problems and my Therapists has been helping me copy with it too. I think It will work out soon. Love all you guys. Tomorrow I have body talk with a friend it helps me to relax and that what I need to do. and not be afraid any more. so I can move on with my life. I loved Merrill he has my heart forever. I hope to see some of you guys soon.
Love Iris

Visited with Joyce and Donna

Hi everyone, Yesterday I met with Joyce and Donna at the park and visited with them for a while. Mel was in the and I went over to say hello to him Donnell was in the car too.
Today was Art City Day's in Springville I had Karl's kids over night and we went down to the carnival and it rain on us. Then this morning went to the parade, and while we were watching, Kaleb went to get a bracelet that they giving out and got hit some how over his eye and got a big gash, the policeman and the ambulance people came to look at his and sacred him, so I took him down to the doctor and he glue it shut and put sterile strips over it. And by the time Karl and Carrie came to get him it was swollen and black and blue. Then Von was jumping on the trampoline and got a fat lip. I told them they might not want me to take them over night anymore. We had a birthday party for Tanner Michael and Elise's little boy he turn big 2 years old yesterday. I got him a big red car for him to ride in.
I miss you all and love you. Hope to see you all soon.
LOVE IRIS

Curves

I everyone I started to go back to Curves Monday and today. I have lost 30 pounds, since Merrill died, and trying to loose more. I want to loose about 90 to 100 ponds more. I'm going to to my best to keep trying. I down to a size eighteen pants now. Went to the Temple last Wednesday and meet Donna there and went though a session. It was a beautiful feeling, and I felt the Spirit, and felt closer to Merrill. I hope everybody is doing ok.
Love Iris

HeadStone

Hi everyone, they put Merrill's headstone in today. I went to the cemetery after work to see it. I hope you everyone can get down to see it. It has a fish on it and under it Say's gone fishing and the other side it has a cat and bunny. Then the Provo Temple and under it , it Say's My Love. with Mountains behind the Temple. It is a red headstone. Love you all Iris

Yesterday

Yesterday I went with my son Karl to Logan he graduated from college and recieved his Master Degree I am very proud of him and what he has acompissed in his life. I hope thing are doing good for all of you. I doing better. Monday is Merrill's birthday and its going to be very hard for me to get by that day. I miss him very much and wish that he could hold me to make me feel better and not so alone. Happy birthday Marion. Love Iris

Pneumonia

Haven't felt good today, So I went to the doctor's and he took X-Rays and told me that I was starting to get Pneumonia so he put me on a Antibiotic. That I hope will work. I'm just so tired I'm ready to start feeling better, so I can do things when summer comes. Love you all.
Iris

Stent

I had the stent removed this morning, throat hurts some mouth is sore. Soon will have my new teeth in about three weeks, hey! then maybe I will go have my picture took, Made it though Easter. Love all of you Iris

Easter

Happy Easter! Everyone. It's lonely today without Merrill, I just want to go some where a lone, and think of the good times. We use to color eggs together, then we colored eggs with the grandchildren, so I colored eggs with Tanner, last night. After church I will be taking some flowers down on his grave, soon he should have his gravestone. Then it will be finally. It doesn't seem like it been almost a year, but it has. And i have miss him very much, some times I cry my self to sleep, but my counsel say's that is OK! to cry because that is how we heal. I better go now and get ready for church I want you you all to know that I love you.
Love Iris

Michael Kim received his Eagle!

Hi everyone Merrill's and my oldest grandson Michael Kim received his Eagle tonight, Venene and Anna were down to see him get it too. Donna and Donnell were there, long with Neil and Meghan and Family. Karl and Carrie and Michael and Elise and Tanner took me over to Orem. I'm doing good. I will go back to work tomorrow, I just hope I can make it though the day.
They took out my drain last Tuesday, and in couple of weeks I will go back in and get the stent removed. I had all my teeth pulled Thursday, so I can get my dentures, I'm excited about it can't wait to have them, maybe I will go have my picture took after I get them in.
I love you all write you later. Thank you for all your concerns and prayers.
Love Iris

I'm Home From The Hospital

Hi Family and Friends, I'm home from the hospital. I got home yesterday. John and Sandra came by and seen me it was nice to see them. Well I had my Gallstones removed and my Gallbladder took out. I guess when they removed my gasllbladder they nick a whole into my duck of my stomach, and they didn't catch at the time. So I went home ad got feeling good I thought. I went to work on the 2rd and 3thd but last Wednesday I woke up in terrible pain that would not go away and got worse when I moved. So Called the Doctor on call and they told me to get to the Hospital fast. So Elise took me to the hospital ER. That were they too Xrays and scatscans to find the leak. they filled me up on pain medicane, then on Thursday they went in and put a stent into my duct of my stomach, then Saturday they went back into and did a scope and put a drain on my right side I gues till next week I'm not sure. So now I have a little buddy I carry with me and I have to dump it out when it fills up.
I hope everyone is doing find I love and miss you all of you guys.
Love Iris

After Knee Scope

Hi everyone I had my right knee scoped on the 21st of January, I had some problems with some swelling in the knee they had to do a ultra sound to make sure there was no blood clots in it, thanks goodness there was none. Then my stomach was bloat over the next week and the Dr. had a ultra sound done on it, and they couldn't find any thing serious wrong. They did take x-rays of my stomach and x-rays of my chest, they found a blockage of the bowel and gave me some medicane to take and it start to work yesterday. My chest x-rays were find. I guess I will see you at Joyce's 80th Birthday Party. I just can't stand for a long time if that is ok. I love you all. Happy Valentine's Day Iris

Yesterday was Anniversary

Yesterday was Merrill's, and My 19th Anniversary. Carrie, and I, went to the open house of the Draper Temple, along with Kaleb, and Von. Then when I, came home I, went down a place a wreath on Merrill's, grave. Then John, Sandra, Donna, and Donella, came over and we went to eat at Chuck-A-Rama, John, and Julia, met us later there, and join us. Then Karl, and Carrie, came and pick Donna, and I, up and we went to the Provo Temple, and did a Session.
I didn't sleep very well Thursday, night, I woke up crying and hurting so bad in my chest and back and knee that I did not get back to sleep till 5:30 then had to wake up at 7:00 am.
Thursday I went to see Dr. Jackson, and he said I need to have surgery on my knee, So on the 21st Wednesday he will do a scope on my right knee. I will let you know later how things go.
I love you all Iris

Anniversary

Hi everyone Friday will be Merrill's, and My 19Th Anniversary. I been writing a letter and things that I want to remember him by, I brought a heart shape wreath to put on his grave I will put it on the snowman for a couple of days, then I will go get it and hang it in my house. Karl, and Carrie, and Donna, and I are going to the Provo Temple, Friday night when Karl, gets off work. I just want you to know how much I miss and think of him often. Saturday Neil, and Meghan, are going to come over and we will be going to see the the setting for the Merrill's, gravestone. After we check it out and approve of it the man will start working on it so he can put in March or the first of April. I have join Facebook and I still trying to figure it out. Joy, Merrill's, youngest daughter started me on it, Carrie, put my family picture on it. Well I go for now I love you all.
Love Iris Always

going to visit my son Jay

Hi Everyone, I am going to visit my son Jay, up in Draper, today at Three, I hope I can make it I'm going to take Elise, with me. I miss him so much, and wish he was out of the prison and at home with me. He and Merrill, are always on my mind and I want them near. I know that God, answer prayers and he is watching over me and my family. Now I wish there could be a miracle to help my older son Brian, to find his way back to God. I pray for my children everyday for help and strength and wisdom for them to find there way back. Michael, and Elise, have been going to chruch with me. Tanner, is in nursary, now. I teach in the nursary now, I could not handle the lesson in Sunday School and Releif Socailty. It hurt so much to listen to the lesson. I love the being in the Nursary playing and teaching the little ones. I hope everyone is doing ok. I miss you when the snow clears up I will have to see if Donna, would like to come to visit with you Dennis, and Margie, Ed, and Marion, and Joyce, and Mel, and anyone who else would like to come down there. I will go for now and write you later. Love you all Iris