Yesterday had been a month

Yesterday had been a month I took a bouquet of flowers down to his grave. I told him I forgave him for leaving me. And I told him I miss so very much and missed him very much. Then I went over and seen my dad's and moms grave and told them to keep Merrill safe.It just doesn't seem like it been a month. I been feeling a little down a little sick the Dr. Wylie put me a antibiotic and some cough syrup. I still would like t o get up to see you all.
Live Iris

Loneiness

I have never felt so much loneliness in my life even when people are around me. I had a good talk with Jay Steineckert , yesterday. And went to excise class. there was a message at the class Dr. Garret, had from President Hinckey, it was about love and compassion and forgiveness. I thought to myself I need to for give Merrill, for leaving me especially when he told me he would stick around till after Christmas. I talk to Jay, about this and he ask me if I talk to Merrill I told him yes and I told him that I was sad and hurting in side. Today I went to see Becky Wheeler, she does energy therapy, she takes the bad energy out and leaves the positive energy, in you. and it is possiable because, I tried it before and it help me. I went and drop off some things to Meghan and Neil, house yesterday too. Neil , wasn't home but it was nice to see Meghan, and Peter, Laura, and Tom. Jack, wasn't home yet. I had a nice visit with them. I just wish I would dare to drive up and see you Margie and Dennis, and Ed and Marion, and Donna. But I'm , afraid I would get lost. I think I could make it to Tremonton, but not sure you guys need to write me back and tell me how to get there. I better go now love you all Iris

lonely days and nights

Hi everyone It;s been a lonely without Merrill here. At I still wake up and wish he could rub my back and leg. then I realize that he's not here. I'vd gone up to the gym in the libary twice and did some excises. I need to write thank you notes to people but it's been too hard to even try, I did go over and thank Dr. Rich and Dr. Day for all their help. I don't know what toe say But I trade bed rooms with Micheal and Elise it was too hard to sleep in that room. Well i love you guys and will be sending you out a recored services of Merrill to each of you sooon
Love you Iris